The 6 best things about York nightlife

The 2015 student view

We asked one York grad and one current York student to tell us about York’s nightlife highlights. Tom Orr is a second-year undergrad, and this is his take.

1. It’s the opposite of Darwinism.

Operation ‘Darwin’s evolution theory in reverse’, or “a regular night out” to most, begins with deciding to substitute dinner with pure absurdity.

You soon end up with some concoction of a night-out meal along the lines of pasta on toast. It’s at least a distraction from some questionable “pre-drinks” music.

A disgruntled taxi driver calls for the millionth time to alert everyone of his arrival. You hop in, smile, and declare that no one has change. “Salvation Nightclub, please” gives way to deep taxi conversation about communism, or something.

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2. It’s rock ‘n’ roll

The Salvation Nightclub queue is monstrous – so the Stone Roses bar it is. Here you might expect sleeveless tattooed bikers, but you instead discover yet another queue of freshers mobbing the barman for those infamous, student loan-friendly vodka trebles.

You shuffle to clear spot and dance haplessly as if watching a Davina McCall fitness tape, and peripherally detect judgmental stares. Back to the club.

3. “Do you work out?”

You’re either innately loved or hated by bouncers, or you have the uncanny ability to slip under the radar. It’s best to be part of the latter group.

Student ID in hand, entry is granted. Oh Salvation, you sticky-floored haven. You order three completely unknown and unnecessary drinks by shouting above the noise in a bellowing Pig Latin.

You find yourself upstairs, grooving among various sports societies to cheesy 90’s pop. Looking around, you begin to feel less guilty about being so unfit.

4. You’ve been tagged in 8 photos…

S Club 7’s “Reach for the Stars” sounds like the best song you’ve ever heard at this point. Of course, until the numb realisation that in a few short hours you’ll be sat in a lecture hall discussing education policy.

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You shrug it off with an eighth return to the bar. You next take a detour via the club photographer – always the best decision of the night.

5. The show must go on!

Party-pooping bouncers remove you from the upstairs floor at the closing hours. The party continues undeterred downstairs with 60 precious minutes of contemporary tunes by a DJ-mixing software-downloader who lives with his parents.

You make a cheeky request a terrible song and grinningly tell all of your friends “it was me”. It’s not worth the joke. It’s time to sample the exquisite nocturnal cuisine of Salt & Pepper chippy.

6. Chips and Gravy?

Chips and gravy

You can’t remember whether you even enjoy chips and gravy, but order it anyway. You wander home through town, chips in one hand, phone in the other, comparing notes with friends on the night’s events.You advise one friend not to climb a tree next to the river. You proceed to join in. You sprain your ankle.

Having limped home, you sensibly decide that now’s the best time to write a few emails, before tumbling into bed and spinning into a well deserved sleep.