When was the last time you rolled down Clifford’s Tower? Take the Harriet Jean Evans test to find out if you’ve really reached adulthood…
1 You get up for work at 6am, instead of stumbling in from Willow.
No more the careless lifestyle of the young. Now you’re more likely to choose collapsing with a cup of tea than heading out.
And yet, no amount of sleep seems to make this okay.
2 Your diet (mostly) no longer consists of ready-noodles and baked beans.
Hooray! You have the money to buy actual food. Shame you don’t really have the time to cook it at the moment.
3 This view fills you with dread instead of joy.
Snow angels? No, thanks. Now it’s all about de-icing the car and praying to the god of weather and traffic that you can get to work on time.
4 Weekends actually mean something.
When you have to go to work every day, it’s nice to have a couple of days that you can devote to yourself.
Oh, wait, there’s washing and cleaning and bill-paying to do? Ah.
5 You have matching crockery.
You used to only have one plate, one bowl, and one mug? And no doubt they were long-suffering remnants of studenthood, purchased by your parents in a last-ditch attempt to get you to eat like a halfway civilised person.
Now you have matching crockery. And lots of it.
And from there, it’s only a small step to the canteen set of contented adulthood.
6 You don’t have the time to put things like this together.
Remember that Thursday you got the train out to Scarborough and showed up all the five-year-olds by making the best sandcastle EVER?
Hold onto that memory.
7 Evil Eye isn’t a weekly habit, but an annual treat
Better for your liver and your bank balance, but your life is the poorer for all those cocktail-induced epiphanies you haven’t had this year.
8 You pick your house/flat/shoebox studio on council tax charges and parking, rather than proximity to the University (or the clubs)
When picking your second-year student house, your main concern may have been how long it would take you to get back from Ziggy’s on a Wednesday night.
But now your main concern is how much the Council is going to charge you, whether you can afford the rent, and where on earth you’re going to fit your car.
And you feel old because Ziggy’s doesn’t exist anymore.
9 Ducklings are still cute, but you no longer have the time to appreciate it
Their parents may have tried to steal your sandwiches, but those ducklings were cute.
Now your attention has been stolen by work – and you can get your cuteness-fix by looking at cats on the Internet. You don’t even have to leave your desk for that.
10 You start accruing real debts, not just student loans
Suddenly you are borrowing money that you are going to have to pay back. And if you’re in a couple, it’s worse: they try and sell you life insurance.
Whatever happens, somebody is returning their money.
11 You haven’t rolled down Clifford’s Tower in five years
The real mark of an adult. You haven’t had the opportunity, and if you did, you wouldn’t take it. Let’s face it, it’s a stupid thing to do.
Did you nod in agreement at each point?
Congratulations! You have reached adulthood.
But don’t let it get you down too much – we’re all in it together!